Coach's Corner With Justin and Ethan

How to stay motivated when you feel like quitting

• Justin Schollard • Season 1 • Episode 31

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What’s stopping you from achieving your fitness goals? This episode uncovers the hidden reasons behind why many abandon their weight loss journeys too soon. We delve into the challenges of maintaining perseverance amidst the hustle of daily life and explore how a steadfast focus on long-term health benefits can reframe your approach to fitness and nutrition. Discover why it’s never too late to start making positive changes, even if life’s immediate demands seem overwhelming.

Ever wondered why transformation feels like a rollercoaster ride? We'll walk you through the "five stages of transformation," highlighting the emotional highs of uninformed optimism and the daunting valley of despair. Learn how to navigate these stages with discipline and perseverance, using real-life examples and relatable analogies. The key takeaway? Setbacks are not setbacks—they are stepping stones on the path to achieving your goals.

Motivation can make or break your journey, and this episode dives deep into finding intrinsic motivation. Inspired by Simon Sinek’s "The Infinite Game," we compare finite and infinite thinking, and reveal how mission-driven goals can sustain long-term commitment. Hear personal stories about finding joy in activities like dance and coaching, as well as the profound satisfaction that comes from helping others. Plus, get the latest updates in our Coach’s Corner, including Ethan’s departure and his rise to social media fame. Join us for an engaging discussion that promises to leave you motivated and ready to prioritize your health.

Speaker 1:

boom. Oh, welcome to episode 31 of coach's corner with justin and ethan. I'm coach justin and I am coach ethan. Today, folks, we're going to be talking about a common problem that we see when people try to lose weight they quit. They quit too soon, they quit before they accomplish their goal, and then what happens is they go back to the quote-unquote, you know, eating normal or the old ways, and then guess what? That doesn't work either and they get frustrated with that. And then they get to the point to where they need to do something. Yep, and they start another program that may have worked if they gave it a fair shake, but then, at the point of frustration usually around week six to eight, is what I see people quit again yeah, and I think it is just like yeah, the same with exercise as well nutrition, exercise, health.

Speaker 2:

You know hard stuff, anything hard yeah, but the health, yeah, the healthy things I think there are.

Speaker 1:

There are things that are important that, universally, we all agree on, health being one of them. Family is important. Health, health is important. Saving money, investing for your, for your inevitable retirement these are all important things, but you know what they're not? They're not urgent, like if you call your mom or not, it's not urgent. If you put $1,000 in your IRA, it doesn't make or break your retirement. If you eat healthy for a week or two, if you skip a workout, it's not going to make or break. And so it's like these are the most important things in our lives, but they don't necessarily change anything on a small scale only. Long term Right. No immediate, immediate feedback, so to speak. And so what ends up happening is that things that are urgent take precedence, yes, over what's important long term. Like you know, the crisis at work, the kids running late for school morning, sick dog needs to go, like these are all real flat tire yeah, whatever, the, yeah, the sick animal 100 and so the urgent stuff, just constantly Not having food prepared.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's immediate. Right you gotta eat. Kids need to eat. Yeah, somebody's gotta eat, gotta eat, I gotta eat Right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so then important stuff gets postponed, postponed, postponed. But the law of diminishing intent states that the longer we postpone taking action, the less likely we are to ever do it. So the longer you wait to, you know, start those dance lessons or learn that language, or to start that instrument, or to get healthy and lose weight, the longer you continue to postpone for one reason or the other, the less likely you are. It's almost like the visual is just like the ship that just drifts further and further off into the horizon.

Speaker 2:

Correct, but it is never too late, folks.

Speaker 1:

Until it is, until it is, it's never too late. Listen, you can always. You know you're never too late. But you definitely get to the point where it's just trying to not get worse anymore yes like you're gonna get to a point with your health and your age where you're not like the dreams of whatever you thought your body could be are gone. Now it's just damage control, it's just mitigating it to try to not get worse to some component.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, only when you're 65, okay yeah.

Speaker 1:

Is anything over that too late? No, but but it's uh.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't know so I say that because I don't, you know, I think that, while it's true that the longer you wait it's harder to to do something, I think that almost creates a defeat. There's a there's room for like, a defeatist mentality of like well, I've never exercised my whole life and I guess it's just my mind, you know, yeah, I want. I think it's just a slippery soap of like. While it's true, it's never too late, I don't care if you're fucking 80. It's not too late to start exercising and getting the benefits, even if it's just postponing some type of damage, even if it's that much of a harder of a current of behavior change to do.

Speaker 1:

We have to keep a popcorn kernel of hope simmering inside. It's not that it's too late, that's not the point. The point is that it's not like it's ever too late. You could be 100 and start swimming and you'd have great benefits from that. It's just the more you, the longer you postpone something, the less likely you are to ever actually do it.

Speaker 2:

Of course, yeah, that's just the human behavior.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, it's interesting because I was thinking about this and I think fundamentally it is all just like a psychology here of why the first things to go tend to be I think you named it of like the things that aren't immediacy and in some capacity, like, look, if there is some type of emergency, you know you're, you're late to work, maybe skipping the gym is what's going to have to happen because you don't want to get fired or penalized or you don't want this kids to miss class, and so in some capacity, I think, at least with like the time component of exercise, I think it is something that is like first to go, because like work and some components of life, especially especially if you have kids, I think do kind of have to come first. Right, there is like some immediacy to certain aspects of life that you can't go without, whereas if you did skip a workout, unfortunately that your day will go on and life won't come crashing down, and I think with food it's a little bit more of an emotional stress.

Speaker 1:

Reward system, reward system, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I think I look at like exercise is often a time kind of a thing most often, but also completely a reward-based and I think exercise is hard in the moment. It's grueling, you know. If you're I know. For me it's like sometimes when I'm completely exhausted at a poor night's sleep, it's hard to gear up, get started to get yeah.

Speaker 2:

Once I'm in there it's not so bad, but just the thought of it sometimes seems like such a larger hurdle if I've got some other things stacked against me, you know. Hurdle if I've got some other things stacked against me, you know, whereas I think the food thing is, because it's like a much more in and out, daily, long-term thing where you're just every day making the decision over and over again.

Speaker 1:

It's not Multiple times a day.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's not three hours out of your week where you got to hit the gym and make that precipice.

Speaker 1:

You can kind of just sack up and do it, but it's three times a day forever.

Speaker 2:

Forever. So I think there's just a lot more room for deviance and I think, like you said, there's a there's a reward for food, and so many things affect our relationship to wanting food too. Like even right now, just the way my day has gone, I have not had a chance to eat. You know it's my own doing, but it's amazing because all I noticed is that, as my hunger increased, all all I want are the worst things, like I'm just daydreaming about cheesesteaks, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like that. I just it's so funny. That's what we talked about on other episodes Like that leptin, that ghrelin, that's just like it's. It's your, your hunger hormones are just skyrocketing and it's just turning into like food porn in your mind now skyrocketing and it's just turning into like food porn in your mind.

Speaker 2:

Now it really is.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I have food prepared at the gym, I'll be able to go and eat it.

Speaker 2:

You're not gonna eat it because I mean I passed this like dim sum house on the drive over here. I just came from the dentist and I'm like I love dumplings and dim sum and I'm just like, oh my god. I'm like maybe I got 20 minutes. I'll be 20 minutes late to get some dim sum. I'm like simmer, simmer down, yeah. So it's amazing.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I think so many things can just influence our hunger and relationship to food, that the ability to be derailed or quit or kind of give it up, even if it's just one meal. There's so much more complexity there and I think it's like anything. It's like you have that bad weekend where you go and party or you're on vacation. It's so hard to start back up sometimes, you know, even if or you go and party or you're on vacation, it's so hard to start back up sometimes Even if you have every intent to. It's like man, you go on a four-day vacation, let's say you come back. You're used to being lazy. It's inertia, man, you're just in it, yeah, you're like dude, just coming back from Tanya's parents' house.

Speaker 1:

I mean, it's just like we rolled in. They had Thai food waiting for us when we got home and her mom just cooked all day, all every day. Then we went out to dinner and it's like wine and you know it was a long weekend so we just kind of like let it happen. But to your point, come back Monday. I'm like I got to eat chicken and vegetables now.

Speaker 2:

Like what? This is crazy.

Speaker 1:

This isn't exciting, but it's like, yeah, it is hard, but this is where I kind of go well, choose your hard, right, because it's fucking hard to be carrying 50 to 100 pounds of weight. It's fucking hard to have your inner thighs chafing. It's fucking hard to not be able to go and sit in certain concert stadiums because the seats are too small. It's fucking hard to have to buy two seats in an airplane. These are like mortifying things that I hear all the time on consultation calls the reason why this is so important.

Speaker 1:

We have to do this right now, because I can't live like this anymore.

Speaker 1:

I'm sick of being single, I'm sick of being anti-social, I'm sick of being insecure, I'm sick of wearing sweatpants all, all day, every day. I want to live my fucking life, because that is hard. It's, yeah, very hard, and you know, planning your meals is fucking hard, right. So you just got to choose, like, like, what do you want now, which might be dim sun, and what do you want fucking most? To feel cute in your clothes, or to look good in that tank top, or to take that adventure vacation with your buddies where you go fucking hike a mountain for a few days, or play that weekend pickleball league that you've been thinking about forever Like that's why, and it's like, yes, it's all hard, because anything in life worth doing is fucking hard, because if, if and if it wasn't, then we all just sink to our lowest common denominators and we just be floating around on like wally on wheelchairs, just sipping coca-cola out of a straw with our bone just floating because we don't really have any need for ligaments anymore.

Speaker 1:

You know, like, so like or what like. What is the alternative? You know it's delayed gratification, it's, it's a, it's a momentary sacrifice for a long-term payoff as such, as with anything worth doing a college education, uh, raising good kids, um, having a healthy, balanced relationship with your partner because you guys have gone to couples therapy and worked through your issues, you know, saving for your retirement so you're not stressed out when you're 70 years old these were all sacrifices that are hard For sure, but necessary. Worth it? Yes, worth it, because the alternative is way harder.

Speaker 2:

It is, it will eventually come to that, and so it is an interesting thing because I think the people stopping is because a lot of time, like the shine, wears off. Yes, you know it can be exciting to kind of take those first steps towards exercise and you know, the gym can be intimidating at first, like even me.

Speaker 2:

I step into a big globo gym. I'm from not familiar and it's kind of like. But you know, even once you get past that initial kind of learning curve, even for changing how you eat, there's kind of an excitement. You're like, ooh, I'm going to, like I'm going to look at this label and I'm going to figure out how much this has in protein and whatever it might be. But as you start to grind, the excitement, I think, goes away. The, the change and the rewards that come with it haven't quite lined up yet it's routine now, yeah, it's routine and and you don't.

Speaker 2:

You haven't necessarily lost the 30 pounds, or you're not all filled out muscularly, you're not jacked yet, or you don't necessarily have the like adaptations of exercising all the time where you have a better libido or you have more energy throughout the day, like those things haven't like quite caught up yet, or you just don't feel better from eating better food choices, and so it's kind of like the routine grind isn't quite lined up yet and so you kind of start to question.

Speaker 2:

You kind of start to say, eh, what's going on, and then any excuse or any reason kind of like we talked about you're hungry, you have a weekend out, you get drunk, you have a birthday party, you have your own birthday vacation, you know they all these things kind of start coming at you where all of a sudden, maybe you do deviate from a day which isn't the end of the world, it happens. But then, like you said, you get back and you're like I gotta eat chicken and vegetables again. You're kind of like, oh, it's just easy to give it up it's the rite of passage, right.

Speaker 1:

So there's like the, the, the five stages of any sort of transformation with your health, with your business, and this is sort of like shiny object syndrome, where at first it's it's called uninformed optimism, is like the entry point oh uh, acro yoga, oh, spinning staff, oh uh, bodybuilding, oh, starting your own business, name, name the thing, right, right, uh, it's uninformed optimism. Well, I know so. And so who's making ten thousand dollars a day selling bitcoin? Sounds easy, anyone can do it. Uninformed optimism oh, my buddy just drinks a protein shake and like goes to the gym three days a week and he's jacked right.

Speaker 1:

All this like anecdotal, like bullshit. That gets people. Which is marketing, essentially right, it's some way to reform, but like, anyways, uninformed optimism. You're on, you're just pure optimism, and then you go and then you start and you realize so. So it starts here uninformed optimism. Then it goes, then you just tank, because now it's like informed pessimism. Turns out you can't get fit quick, it turns out, you can't get rich quick, it turns out. This is actually an entire world of skill that I have to build, you need $50,000 in Bitcoin as an investment.

Speaker 1:

You've got to lose everything first for you learn or you gotta like yeah, right you know, turns out you can't just have a protein shake and and do push-ups and pulls. You actually have to, like, structure and plan your workouts. It turns out, you know, that like just simply cutting out carbs isn't, isn't the answer. There's more, there's complexity to skills that are worth acquiring. Yes, I have to drop the balls many times before I learn to juggle.

Speaker 1:

So then, from informed pessimism you go from uninformed optimism and the tanks to informed pessimism. This is where doubt starts creeping in. Oh man, what did I just get myself into here? And then you go through the valley of despair.

Speaker 2:

The valley of despair, and this is around week eight, yeah, six days.

Speaker 1:

Shine wears off the apple. I'm not seeing the results that I did in the first couple weeks, or this isn't as easy as I thought it was going to be Right, and this is the threshold. So you either are the type of person that just continues to repeat this doom spiral forever, where you go from uninformed optimism on the next thing Well, maybe I'll try this then instead, because that one was too hard, let me try this little thing and then most people just get to the point of frustration, which is the value of despair. Then they go right back to the top and start a new thing and they just repeat this endless loop for the rest of their lives. They spend their entire life. They spend their entire life looking, looking for the quick fix right versus uninformed optimism. Informed pessimism valley of despair. Push through informed optimism success. So you have to acquire this skill by tolerating frustration long enough to become informed optimistic now. Because now it's like how?

Speaker 2:

do you lose?

Speaker 1:

fat, Uninformed pessimism. This is I don't understand. I'm frustrated. Right, you build a skill set. Now it's like oh, now I know.

Speaker 2:

Now, I know.

Speaker 1:

I've gone through it, I know now. I've gone through a period of analysis to where I know how to build muscle, how to make money online, how to lose fat, whatever your thing is, and so that's the path that people should go, the virtuous path, but then the vicious path, the vicious circle, is they just keep going back to the new shiny object as soon as it gets hard.

Speaker 2:

Right, I mean it makes sense. You have to go through the valley of despair, but you have to. You know, in a certain sense it's the growth set mentality that failures or hiccups, or that the learning process requires a fault.

Speaker 2:

but stumbling yeah, you can't. You know you're, you never are going to learn a new, like you can't learn to juggle without dropping the balls. You're never going to do it. So it's like that kind of idea of just staying, staying through it and not letting the difficulties whether it's actually failing in a day or it being that you can't eat your particular food or you can't spend money on a certain thing because you're saving you have to have to go through that hardship, right it's like discipline, friction friction sharpens the blade right.

Speaker 1:

You have to grind it to get sharp yeah, like, if you're, you know, if you're the guy that sits home and studies while all your friends are out drinking, who's going to be more successful in 10 years? Right, it's a sacrifice in the moment. You want to go out and drink and have fun with your friends, but you also know that, like well, I can't pass these boards, otherwise maybe a bartender for the rest of my life, like these you know jokers over here, you know and so it's just like skill acquisition is quite literally delaying gratification. It is quite literally practicing restraint on your desires and impulses in order to accomplish the big picture goal. So it's like what do you want now? I want to eat pizza and drink wine right now. I want to watch a netflix movie, drink a bottle of wine, eat a whole pizza right now. What?

Speaker 2:

do you want most?

Speaker 1:

sounds great. I want to be like super smart and I want to be like shredded and healthy. Okay, right, what do you want now versus what do you want most? Sounds great. I want to be like super smart and I want to be like shredded and healthy. Okay, right, what do you want now versus what do you want most? Man, and that's your north star. What?

Speaker 2:

I want most is to eat pizza, watch netflix and drink wine, for work for a living, shredded and be shredded, exactly right right, but it's like, I think there's like microcosms and macrocosms.

Speaker 1:

So like a macrocosm would be like, you know, like a species that evolves to adapt to their environment, right? So like a million species had to die in order to create a genetic adaptation, to survive this XYyz exposure element, right, it's like this natural sort of like filtering process. Think about, like the special forces, a thousand guys sign up to be a seal and only like 19 make it right. Right, and you know, it's just, it's so, it's just this weeding out of people who just mentally, just aren't ready for it.

Speaker 1:

And I think fitness is a microcosm, like an internal battle that we have to go through. It's like so few accomplish and so few maintain, because it's just once the going gets tough, it's like, and the shine wears off the apple. Do you push through the valley of despair and become informed, optimistic and then success, or do you just stop as soon as it gets hard and go back to a new shiny object to start? Well, maybe bodybuilding works, maybe powerlifting, maybe yoga, and all those are fine options, but you just got to stick with it. You have to stick with it. You have to stick with it.

Speaker 2:

I think you know it's also understanding your relationship to, I think, why you're changing your behavior and why you're choosing to partake in something. And I think when the going gets tough you know, I know we talk about this and it's part of sales and it's just a part of a lot of things is like the finding your why. And I think that in a lot of ways, getting the ball rolling and starting anything can be hard enough. Even if it's uninformed optimism, you still got to take that leap and even if it's not the best reasons which I'll kind of extrapolate on, in a sense, just getting it started at least gets you on the path At least will eventually get you to the valley of despair and the hardest part.

Speaker 2:

But I think having that anchor of the why or having a relationship to the reason of the behavior change, is going to be one of the things that helps to get you through that. And having a plan but that's secondary and I think you know a lot of it can come from. It takes a little soul searching in a sense, but you know one lot of it can come from. It takes a little soul searching in a sense, but you know one of the things I know to be true is like intrinsic versus extrinsic motivations, and either can be very powerful and either can get you there, and sometimes one can be more, you know, influential than the other, than the other, but generally if we can come to a deeper place of wisdom, so to speak, and get to intrinsic motivation.

Speaker 2:

it's going to be a deeper driving force, and so what's an example?

Speaker 1:

of intrinsic.

Speaker 2:

So intrinsic motivation would be doing it for yourself in some capacity for, for a reason to, to, to be your best self and to live your best life. And and in a way, the way I look at it is that it's a is process oriented versus end game result oriented, Whereas an external motivation might be like I want to make my ex jealous or I've got a wedding coming up, my sister's wedding's coming up Revenge body.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but I mean let's just use like my sister's wedding coming up or your own wedding's coming up, and so I'm going to eat right and exercise so that when the wedding occurs I look a certain way, I fit into a dress, I look good in front of all these people I haven't seen since high school. And again, that might be an extremely strong motivator and it might get you there. But fundamentally, once that wedding has happened, what's going to keep carrying you and you can look to your birthday or you can look to maybe the next wedding or the vacation. But fundamentally, once it's a result-oriented, once it's achieved, then what? Then what? Yeah, it's just like Versus, like an intrinsic motivation might be like, look, and it's tricky because Generational health, generational health, yeah, I mean I just want to be happier.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

You know, and fundamentally you can say, that everything is because of an outcome and therefore it's extrinsically or result-oriented, and that might be true to some capacity. Like I want to exercise because I want to have the best mental health that I can have and I want to be the happiest I can be for myself, for my coworkers, for my partner, for my kids, just whatever it is and you can look at that as all results. But technically it's an ongoing process, like there's a never-ending relationship to your mental health. You don't just like arrive to happiness one day, or you know fighting anxiety and then all of a sudden stop exercising, and so that attachment to something that's within you and not having to do with anybody else or any external circumstance and doing it for yourself, is going to be like quote the higher road.

Speaker 1:

It puts you beyond circumstances. Yes, and another way to look at this is like it's infinite versus finite thinking. Simon Sinek has a book, I think, from like five years ago the Infinite Game, I think it's called and he compares and contrasts big corporations and he was using like apple and microsoft as a comparison, where apple is very infinite minded. We're changing the world is apple's motivation.

Speaker 1:

we're gonna, we're gonna change, we're gonna dent the universe yeah like we're not just gonna like compete on who has the best mp3 player, but we're gonna like create like cloud computing to like to like to like make that obsolete right so it was next where microsoft was always trying to just beat apple.

Speaker 1:

They were just trying to let. Well, apple just came out with the ipod, so let's make the microsoft zoom, we're gonna crush apple. And then, and and then it was like inevitably, they were so obsessed with just a result and not like big picture thinking and mission driven, just more results driven that they lost like 70% of the market share. They just could never, never catch up. And I think that that to your point is similar. When it comes to this, it's like are you only getting fit for your five-day vacation to Mexico? Because then what? Right, yeah. But it's like when you have a stronger reason your kids. You don't want your kids to be obese. Or you like, in our clients, they're all in healthcare. Like you're sick and tired of walking in to see your patients and telling them that their blood sugar is high when you know that you're borderline diabetic yourself, leading by example you know, um, being a big, a better role model, passing on generational health, you know.

Speaker 1:

You know so your family, so your grandkids, never know any different. You know that's your reason. And if you can keep that thought, then when you boil it down to where the rubber meets the road and you're having a moment of weakness and you want to just say fuck it and quit you remember, my five-year-old kid is eating like me and that's not okay. That's not okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I have one of my clients. He always comes in and he's got a kid, he's tired, he's you know, life is life for us all, but he always he has this mantra he's like the process is the reward, the process is the reward. So as he's sitting there struggling with the workout, doing you know gritty pull-ups and things of that nature, he chants to himself that, like this moment, grinding right now, the workout itself, not what the workout is going to get me, not having bigger biceps, none of it is like right here, right now, is the reward. And shifting that mentality to like this very moment is the thing that I am grateful for and looking forward to Because?

Speaker 1:

yeah, because when we think back on, like our glory days, it's never about when we hit the easy button. It's like man. I trained for three months and I did all this. The moments of effort that we've gone through are what we remember, yes, and the moments of sacrifice and hard work and self-discipline, like we're proud of that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we attach to that you know it's like and to John's point, it's like that like we're doing it because we want to be fit, which is kind of the goal, but really, when we look back, being fit is a spiral staircase because there's always a next level. You always want to get more fit. Of course it's an endless journey, but those moments where you're like clicked into gear and you're eating healthy and you're training, that's what you remember and are proud of, and so that's it quite literally, is the process you know yeah, you're going to be shining your brightest.

Speaker 2:

You know, I was just reading this book recently. That's all about like ending suffering by understanding how like thinking is the thing that causes suffering, and all this kind of stuff, kind of like a not spiritual book, but just one of those, one of those books.

Speaker 2:

But they talk about action from desperation or inspiration as the kind of dichotomy and that so, and very much mirroring that like desperation tends to be a pitfall, like yeah, I, I, I gotta quit my job because I'm unhappy, or I gotta I gotta lose weight because I'm gonna, you know, go to this wedding or whatever it is, and I gotta make more money so that I can travel and live.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, then you're gonna do something nearsighted and you know, and fundamentally it leads to this cycle that I think I've seen with clients happen, where you get there and you're still unfulfilled, there's the emptiness. You get the bigger house and look, we all want a bigger house. It's all nice to have, like having money is good, having a nicer house or a nicer car is good I'm not saying that that's something to be shunned but you get the nicer car and something the itch is still there, you're still unfulfilled. And then you get a nicer car and eventually the house of cards implodes and you realize, like, well, this isn't happiness or fulfillment isn't necessarily coming from these things, whereas when you lead action through inspiration, there's a certain joy that comes from it. That isn't necessarily attached to this result-based outcome. Per se.

Speaker 2:

And results might come from it For sure. And so I think it's just those kinds of mentalities that can help you in those hard moments to just remember that.

Speaker 1:

it's just those kind of mentalities that can help you in those hard moments to just remember that it's a little bit bigger than the moment itself it's so, it's so true, and it's like I just thinking of my own life and process, like when I'm taking inspired action, yeah, and you're 100 present because you're inspired and you're in the flow, you're in a flow state.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, it's all that stuff, all the stuff.

Speaker 1:

So you're inspired, you're taking inspired action cars, houses, clothes you're that you don't even think about it because you're, you're inspired be on the pursuit of this thing that you're, you're, you're digging into, and it's like you don't think about the materialistic stuff.

Speaker 1:

But when you're, when you're doing something out of desperation, it's probably linked pretty closely with, like comparison yes, exactly less than yeah. And so now it's like you are going to make probably long-term, near-sighted, long-term mistakes by getting yourself, by taking too big of risks, either like dieting too hard, training too hard, investing too aggressively, just like basically rolling the dice, hoping it lands on red and you win big, but it might not and it usually doesn't, and then it comes back to just explode in your face because you weren't, you were only result oriented and you were only doing it to appear to the outside world as more successful, versus taking inspired action and forgetting about the rest of the world. Yeah, exactly, forgetting that anyone's, even you're just like oh, this is so cool, I'm having so much fun, I'm digging into this, I'm just loving it, and that's the thing.

Speaker 2:

So much fun. Yeah, the joy I mean it was-. The day just goes by and the day just goes by like wow time just flew by. No stress, yeah, and I get it. Look, we all have our jobs. You know, like I'm not saying that cooking your own food and changing your eating habits can just magically tap into like play and fun and joy. But I do think that it is a process of relationship to the world and our life and we're kind of getting into a little more crunchy, philosophical kind of stuff.

Speaker 2:

But it is the truth of it. I mean, the book asks a question. It was so interesting. They're like if you had all the money in the world, you had already traveled the world, You'd already seen all the sites so you can't say travel.

Speaker 2:

And you can't say travel Exactly, and you were in good health and nobody knew that you were going to do whatever it is you were going to do. Nobody was aware of it. You don't get any clout points, you don't get to brag. Nobody fucking knows what would you choose to do. So it's almost like if you could do anything in the world, what would?

Speaker 1:

you do, but it's like eliminating. This comes back to pizza, wine and ethics.

Speaker 2:

Damn it, it's forever waiting, especially pizza. If you had all the money at that point.

Speaker 1:

You know what?

Speaker 2:

Nobody knows.

Speaker 1:

Nobody knows my shame. But, yeah, taking inspired action to order the deep dish? No, but yeah.

Speaker 2:

So it's an interesting question because I think if you were to look at it that way, to use it as a framework of like, if you are choosing a journey of health and it's not there to make you any money not to say you can't use health to make money, that's what you know. We were both health and fitness career people You're not doing it. You know, like travel, just out of the picture. You've already seen the world and nobody knows you're doing it Can you find the reason to still choose it?

Speaker 2:

Right, like nobody knows you're gonna look sexy. You're not gonna impress anybody at the wedding. It's not because of vacation. You're just doing it for what? Because I'm gonna feel my fucking best. My best life is lived when I'm paying attention to my health, and that includes what I eat and moving my body in some way, and it's almost like you remove all the static and the noise and you, if you can come to that understanding that fundamentally, without question, your best life is going to be lived with, participating with those things, then that that's fucking intrinsic motivation right there.

Speaker 1:

That's the real reason, right, like if you can just reorient your mind to truly see the process as the reward. In that sense, yes, and like, and like you start and you train, you recondition yourself to actually look forward to those moments where you get to, like, you know, do the hard thing because you know the payoff yeah, you know that those and the feeling you have of accomplishment is the true destination, the ascension Every time you choose.

Speaker 2:

It is the ascension of yourself in some capacity. Yeah, and I think the other thing is that, like once you've completely reoriented your belief system, no biggie, just take a day or two to do that Change everything, just change everything, I think having a plan, is just you got to have a plan, you got to be tracking results. Because you're going to fall off.

Speaker 1:

And the plan you gotta be tracking results because you're gonna fall off could just be the track, because then what happens is when, even without a plan, if you just, if you actually track your strength progressions, if you actually track your calories and your scale weight, you, you start to develop a plan because you, you, you start to auto correct. You can't see a number and not want to improve it. Right. And so if, even if you don't have a plan, if you just say, okay, well, I'm just gonna track my calories my way in the morning and I'm gonna start to like measure my strength progressions in these, like you know, five or six different exercises can I do?

Speaker 1:

and then you go, okay, well, it turns out when I increase protein, strength goes up, but then when I keep calories limited, my skill goes. So you start to devise a plan without even having to have a plan, by just looking at the data and letting the data inform your decisions. Right, could be a wonderful way to start without having to worry about a plan.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because how can you know where to go if you can't see the road right, If you're just wandering?

Speaker 1:

Let's end it here, I'm with it. If you can't say pizza or an n netflix, okay, you've already traveled the world, you've already got more money than you'll ever need to spend and you're in great health and no one knew what would you do still dance I would dance, all right, dance and flow arts, spin my staff, but dance nah, you know it's like I, it's just like perform shows, like travel you know, I mean, yeah, I mean any of it, but I think just by if I like the way I look at it is like if I was on an island, like if nobody knew I was doing it, and I

Speaker 2:

have the most beautiful mansion on the island, I got jacuzzis, I have everything I want in terms of riches and money, I'm in great health and it's the most perfect island, because I've seen the entire world and I got to choose where I'm living. Now you know what you want and nobody's around. I'd probably dance. It's just so much fun, it brings me so much joy it there's no reason that I choose to do it other than to do it. It's just so much. It just it just elates me, and so I think dance would be my answer. What about you?

Speaker 1:

I mean I I was kind of thinking about it more in like a do with my life career. And I think it would be it would honestly be coaching people with fitness and nutrition, I think and mindset and just like convenience.

Speaker 1:

So much there, yeah, yeah, no, no but like honestly, like you know, I just I like I really get a kick out of having the conversation that you and I just had, but to someone who's maybe never heard it quite like that, or maybe only heard it tangentially but never had anyone directly confront them about their own belief systems that are holding them back.

Speaker 1:

And I like that. And I like getting and being the one person in someone's life that's actually been honest with you and not just placated you and told you everything's okay. No, no, you look great but like actually challenge you to break through a limiting belief that has kept you stuck and help you expose and identify these patterns and habits that have, you know, help prevented you from from living that life that you want. Like I would do that, like I would love to be able to have those conversations every day with people. And then you know, if money wasn't an issue and the irony is that that is kind of my job in a way but honestly, so much of my job now is like being a business owner more than it is being like a coach coach you know, yeah, but that's what I really like.

Speaker 2:

And if they think that it's a noble response, I mean because I think there is no greater reward than helping people. Like when I'm teaching somebody something like it is one of my favorite moments. Like especially with, like my Dragon Staff, the flow arts prop I spin. Like when I'm in a circumstance where people ask me to teach them and it's just that fun little interaction where I'm getting to show them a move.

Speaker 2:

Like they just it is so rewarding and it's just so fulfilling. Move like they just it is so rewarding and it's just so fulfilling. And I do think that you know it's so like it's.

Speaker 2:

You know lifetime tv cliche, almost like helping other people but when it, when the truth comes down to it, when you make an impact on somebody's life in some way, when they look you in the eye and they have gratitude to you just because of your efforts and and and you're not you're not doing it for that, but that's just the outcome it really is a beautiful thing. Definitely, it really is. Yeah, you know, it makes me just think that I'm lost my calling. I should be on dancing with the stars.

Speaker 1:

You just go to hollywood boulevard and just start dancing. I'm just waiting for one of my uh instagram reels to go viral and then I'm out of here. Bitches, I'll just be shuffling, you know all right, coach's corner with justin, because ethan is as he blew up on social media now, so he quit popping and locking, he quit yeah, first chance he got. Uh, all right, we'll leave it there. That was episode 31 of coach's corner, with just stacking them up that's cool. We'll see you guys next time. Peace out later. Bye.